It has been incredibly humbling, this task of constantly loving unconditonally. It seems that what I continually discover is that I am not very good at loving. Afterall, love begins when you set yourself aside and that, my friends, is a difficult task that does not come naturally to this human shell. Thankfully, God is the definition of love, and He offers me His presence, power, and strength daily. I am deeply challenged and inspired by His Words of love.*
Real love would have jumped into the task of removing the immense amount of lice from one of our girl's poor, unfortunate heads this week. Instead, I went through the process with about 6 changes of latex gloves, a lot of oozey noises, and doing my best to keep as much distance as I treated the hair as possible. Real love would have done its best to make the youth whose head is literally crawling with bugs comfortable and at as much peace as possible through the horrendeous process. Instead, I was doing the best I could to picture myself on a tropical island the entire time. Love begins when you set yourself aside.
Love is patient. Patient also means long suffering. I have realized that my prayer at the beginning of a day is usually for suffering to be as short as possible. Sometimes, my prayer is just to make it through...not for the Lord to teach me to truly love, to suffer long. Lord, teach me patience and long suffering.
Real love looks past the layers of defenses, thickness of hostilities and anger, and penetrates a wounded heart's surface selflessly. Instead, so many times I get caught up in their defenses. I get hung up on their unjustified hostility or misdirected anger. I forget to shoot straight for the heart and instead worry too much of protecting my own. Love hears what they are trying to say and loves anyway no matter what. Love begins when you set yourself aside.
Love is kind. When ugliness rears its head, when it is the last thing someone is asking for, love chooses to be kind. It is tempting to match my own words with those spoken to me. It is easy to forget that none of us are treated as we deserve by God, despite how much gratitude, self-awareness, or respect we lack. I lose track of my calling to love as I have been loved...with loving kindness. A kind word oftentimes does silence an angry tongue. Lord, teach me to be kind.
If you watched me, you would see that even on my best days, when I love well...I realize it too soon and credit myself. I allow the loving I do to become the boast of my heart or the pride of my life. "Look what happened when I showed her grace!" "Look what happened when I bucked up and showed her tough love!" I am not very good at loving, because if you watched me, you would see that what starts as an intention to spread the love of the Lord quickly turns into something that I have done. How quickly I transfer the credit that belongs to the Lord to myself. However. Love begins when you set yourself aside.
Love does not boast; it is not proud. Love gives with no motive except the glory of the Lord and it lifts its praises to the skies rather than to oneself. Love happens when you realize how empty you are and you allow the only one who can fill you to flow His own love through you...realizing it is something you could never take credit for, no matter what it may look like to the world. Love realizes the privilege of being a vessel of the Lord, rather than puffing up oneself because of the position. Lord, remind me of my place.
There may be a lot of things throughout my day that even look like love or like I know how to truly love. However, if you were to look inside my heart, if you were to read my mind, you would see often I love with the motivation to be loved...or appreciated. How often I give to be given...how often I live to be lifted up in the minds of others. Sickening. Love doesn't even get close to its beginning before you set yourself aside.
Love is not self-seeking. It is truly given for the sake of another. It is given without the expectation of anything in return. It is given with the knowledge that it might not be appreciated, and it might not even accomplish whatever goal you set out for it. But it is given anyway. It is given to portray the Heart of God to another person. And when it is given for any reason other than the other person, the picture of God's Heart is so smeared and blurry, it is no longer serving its purpose at all. Lord, let me love with a pure heart focused on You.
When I wake up in the morning, sometimes I am still bothered by the wrong things that were said to me or that were done the day before. Sometimes I forget about second chances. Also, when I wake up in the morning long before the sun and feel my own need for sleep or personal time has been missed, it becomes a easy to irritate or upset me. Little things that should not matter become big things that boil the blood under my skin. Though I have become amazing at hiding such anger or irritations, if you were examining my heart, it would be impossible to ignore. Love begins when you set yourself aside.
Love is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. The patience so characteristic of love aids in its ability to be slow to anger. Love does not look past pain or wrongdoing, but love does forgive and leave the past in the past. Love makes room for new beginnings and actually is the primary ingredient in their growth. Love is FOR you. Love believes that change is possible rather than building a list of reasons why one hasn't changed and never will. Lord, give me grace for new beginnings.
Perhaps the farthest I have ever found myself from real love is when I have loved for my own sake. Because then it becomes to easy to find satisfaction in the brokenness of others. Instead of admitting and dealing with my own brokenness, it becomes the natural response to delight in the brokenness of others so that you have a springboard for more self-serving "love." But all of that is in vain. Love begins when you set yourself aside.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the Truth. Love is centered primarily on the Truth and Life of Jesus Christ. It hopes the best for everyone and rejoices with the beauty of life. It is saddened and broken by the evil or brokenness of others, not motivated to use it to somehow puff itself up. Lord, teach me to rejoice only in You.
Love provides protection. Love provides trust. Love provides hope. Love never gives up. Protection. Trust. Hope. Perseverence. All things that are craved by the youth we work with everday. Lord, teach me to really love. Because love, above all, never fails.
*1 Corinthians 13
Real love would have jumped into the task of removing the immense amount of lice from one of our girl's poor, unfortunate heads this week. Instead, I went through the process with about 6 changes of latex gloves, a lot of oozey noises, and doing my best to keep as much distance as I treated the hair as possible. Real love would have done its best to make the youth whose head is literally crawling with bugs comfortable and at as much peace as possible through the horrendeous process. Instead, I was doing the best I could to picture myself on a tropical island the entire time. Love begins when you set yourself aside.
Love is patient. Patient also means long suffering. I have realized that my prayer at the beginning of a day is usually for suffering to be as short as possible. Sometimes, my prayer is just to make it through...not for the Lord to teach me to truly love, to suffer long. Lord, teach me patience and long suffering.
Real love looks past the layers of defenses, thickness of hostilities and anger, and penetrates a wounded heart's surface selflessly. Instead, so many times I get caught up in their defenses. I get hung up on their unjustified hostility or misdirected anger. I forget to shoot straight for the heart and instead worry too much of protecting my own. Love hears what they are trying to say and loves anyway no matter what. Love begins when you set yourself aside.
Love is kind. When ugliness rears its head, when it is the last thing someone is asking for, love chooses to be kind. It is tempting to match my own words with those spoken to me. It is easy to forget that none of us are treated as we deserve by God, despite how much gratitude, self-awareness, or respect we lack. I lose track of my calling to love as I have been loved...with loving kindness. A kind word oftentimes does silence an angry tongue. Lord, teach me to be kind.
If you watched me, you would see that even on my best days, when I love well...I realize it too soon and credit myself. I allow the loving I do to become the boast of my heart or the pride of my life. "Look what happened when I showed her grace!" "Look what happened when I bucked up and showed her tough love!" I am not very good at loving, because if you watched me, you would see that what starts as an intention to spread the love of the Lord quickly turns into something that I have done. How quickly I transfer the credit that belongs to the Lord to myself. However. Love begins when you set yourself aside.
Love does not boast; it is not proud. Love gives with no motive except the glory of the Lord and it lifts its praises to the skies rather than to oneself. Love happens when you realize how empty you are and you allow the only one who can fill you to flow His own love through you...realizing it is something you could never take credit for, no matter what it may look like to the world. Love realizes the privilege of being a vessel of the Lord, rather than puffing up oneself because of the position. Lord, remind me of my place.
There may be a lot of things throughout my day that even look like love or like I know how to truly love. However, if you were to look inside my heart, if you were to read my mind, you would see often I love with the motivation to be loved...or appreciated. How often I give to be given...how often I live to be lifted up in the minds of others. Sickening. Love doesn't even get close to its beginning before you set yourself aside.
Love is not self-seeking. It is truly given for the sake of another. It is given without the expectation of anything in return. It is given with the knowledge that it might not be appreciated, and it might not even accomplish whatever goal you set out for it. But it is given anyway. It is given to portray the Heart of God to another person. And when it is given for any reason other than the other person, the picture of God's Heart is so smeared and blurry, it is no longer serving its purpose at all. Lord, let me love with a pure heart focused on You.
When I wake up in the morning, sometimes I am still bothered by the wrong things that were said to me or that were done the day before. Sometimes I forget about second chances. Also, when I wake up in the morning long before the sun and feel my own need for sleep or personal time has been missed, it becomes a easy to irritate or upset me. Little things that should not matter become big things that boil the blood under my skin. Though I have become amazing at hiding such anger or irritations, if you were examining my heart, it would be impossible to ignore. Love begins when you set yourself aside.
Love is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. The patience so characteristic of love aids in its ability to be slow to anger. Love does not look past pain or wrongdoing, but love does forgive and leave the past in the past. Love makes room for new beginnings and actually is the primary ingredient in their growth. Love is FOR you. Love believes that change is possible rather than building a list of reasons why one hasn't changed and never will. Lord, give me grace for new beginnings.
Perhaps the farthest I have ever found myself from real love is when I have loved for my own sake. Because then it becomes to easy to find satisfaction in the brokenness of others. Instead of admitting and dealing with my own brokenness, it becomes the natural response to delight in the brokenness of others so that you have a springboard for more self-serving "love." But all of that is in vain. Love begins when you set yourself aside.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the Truth. Love is centered primarily on the Truth and Life of Jesus Christ. It hopes the best for everyone and rejoices with the beauty of life. It is saddened and broken by the evil or brokenness of others, not motivated to use it to somehow puff itself up. Lord, teach me to rejoice only in You.
Love provides protection. Love provides trust. Love provides hope. Love never gives up. Protection. Trust. Hope. Perseverence. All things that are craved by the youth we work with everday. Lord, teach me to really love. Because love, above all, never fails.
*1 Corinthians 13
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