So, there are these boxes. Our homes are filled with them, our workplaces, our churches, our Facebook pages, our hashtags, and most deeply, our relationships. The boxes are what we build around the people in our lives. We want them to stay inside; we need them to stay within the box's limits. Letting people out of the confines we put them in is risky, dangerous, and mostly outright terrifying. Because more than anything, we are all looking for some control and to know what the heck is going on in this world and where there is safety and where it makes sense. And eliminate the mess. So, the boxes. They let us stack people neatly, cleanly, efficiently...and it allows us to keep people exactly where we want them. It helps us feel that we are, after all, exactly who we want to be. In a room of boxed up people, the risks involved in relationships shrink dramatically because the unknown can't be explored within a box. We won't be wrong about them if they are crammed inside our box. We won't be hurt by them if they are limited by its walls. We won't fall victim to the shell-shock of the failure of humanity when we've already got them locked in. I know you've seen it, but you may not have realized you, too, have done it. We all have. To keep myself from boxing life and people, including myself, in is a conscious, prayerful endeavor of my each and every day, an endeavor I am reminded most to take when I myself get smashed in the box of another.
Today, I got put in a box. I was the helpless mom running out of Wal-mart with a flapping toddler in need of a nap and buckling her into the car with her Dad while I returned to speed shop for our weekly groceries. Oh the horror that a snapshot of that moment would do to the kind of box you want me to be in. The parent who doesn't discpline or spoils their child...obviously. Because any amount of discipline would have prevented that meltdown, right? The parent who doesn't know what they are doing...definitely. Because where were my solutions - the rabbit coming out of the hat? The parent that doesn't deserve the blessing of that beautiful, blue-eyed, precious baby girl...assuredly. Because aren't blessings things we earn? And it was a very public moment, so in a lot of strangers' minds, I entered this box of shame. And my cheeks are still a little pink from the experience of it all. One toddler meltdown has had me question just about every thing in my life. I'm in the box. On the other hand, I have all these Facebook friends that like to follow my videos and photos of the sweetest moments I collect with our little girl, the funny stories, the success story of her peeing in the potty more than in her diaper in the last week - hoorah! And with these chronic "like"ers, I fear I live inside this glamorous parent and family box. Like I have figured something out and have my stuff together. Or that our life is pretty much Brady Bunch or Leave it to Beaver, one big dance party (we do love dance parties!), simply a collection of highlight reels, pretty much Disney World around here. Somehow, my Instagram does not accurately express the struggle that is bedtime, petty arguments I start with my husband, and the enormous piles of laundry.
And then there are the articles we read on social media, or before it took over our lives, those little magazines we'd subscribe too. And its one person saying all Stay-At-Home-Moms are fulfilling God's calling because they fit inside a selfless, fulfills-all-needs-at-all-times-for-their-children box and the opposing view that Working Moms find God's favor by not only having passions and gifts outside the home but using them effectively and efficiently. Let's be real, y'all. None of us fit into either of those boxes. And it wouldn't matter where I spent the bulk of my days Monday - Friday. I am at war between flesh and spirit. In my best moments, I am dependent on the Holy Spirit for strength, wisdom, courage, and love and give with a pure, holy motive to each individual God carefully places in my life and path. In my worst moments, I am looking out for number one, carelessly crashing into those around me with impatience, impulse, insecurity, and selfishness. I value the places in my life that do not allow me (or force me) into either of these boxes. I am not a strong being who is insightful and brave and selflessly loves. God is. And sometimes I share in His character. Don't let me fool you; please do not let me sit on a pedastool on any day for any reason. I am also saved from being a self-focused, ignorant, reckless imbecile through the power and hope of Jesus Christ. So please don't let my Wal-Mart moment fool you; let me swim in the ocean of grace rather than box me up in my messiest moment. Don't you all want the same?
Basically, y'all, can we not just live with one another inside oceans of grace rather than isolated boxes of labels, judgments, and walls? I seriously have known people / had friends? who are completely cool with our friendship, our conversation, even our "Bible Study," until silly me opens up with too much vulnerability and receives the, "Oh REAAALLLLY?" response, implying I have reached the limitation of understanding and grace and disappointed them in some way. Yeah, not a safe place. Not an ocean of grace. Felt like I was swimming and then SLAM, box is shut. We need to do better for each other and for ourselves.
It's not just our kids, our jobs, our friends. And I'm not only a victim in this mess but also an oppressor. We do it to our hubsands, our pastors, our leaders, and the most vulnerable in our society. Box them in. Without any grace. It's easier for them to be "lazy," "self-righteous," "extremist," or "damaged goods." Too easy to decide ourselves the potential or capacity within an individual instead of laying it in the hands of an all-powerful, miraculous God. How often do we box people rather than pray people through this life? Do we really pray for each other?
The boxes are what we build around the people in our lives. And ourselves. When we are free to let ourselves out of the box we squeeze ourselves in, to not only not think to highly or too lowly of ourselves but instead gaze directly into the mirror of His face, we are able to free those around us from their boxes, as well. We don't need the boxes when we don't have ourselves confined to one. Because when you're swimming and floating and free in an ocean of eternity, you have no need to shrink others to fit in your control.
Another person can fail and succeed without becoming a failure or a god. Can't they? Only when we allow ourselves to fail and succeed without calling ourselves a failure or a god. I'm preaching this all to myself today, because I've pinpointed my very own, deep-down issue here and going for an afternoon Grace Ocean swim to share it with you all. On sweet baby girl's best day, for example, I fly high and feel that maybe I was meant to bring 1,000 babies into this world just to love with the limitless love I've been given. "I was created for this," yadadadada. On sweet baby girl's worst day, I get so low and feel that she's been cheated by being placed in my care. And oh this rollercoaster is riding us both. It's the same at work. When everything is coming together, excitement is building, and the team is strong, I feel full, satisfied, and at peace. And when things get rocky or threaten to fall apart, I begin to come up with all the people who should sit at my desk instead of me. These are the boxes I put myself in when I don't swim in the ocean of His grace. The grace days, those are the truest, the most real, the best. I am still not sure why I don't choose them each morning above the rest. But maybe you can help me. Maybe we can together. Choose this grace. For each other. And for ourselves. Because...
The boxes are what we build around the people in our lives. And ourselves. And ultimately, our God. God is in a box, He is limited, He is small when we do not believe Him fully and in big ways. When we do not ride the waves in His ocean and allow His grace to transform first our hearts and then our relationships and our world. We need a big God. My sweet baby girl much more than she needs a perfect Mommy needs a very Good God. I'm taking steps to help my heart reflect that. She, more than anyone on this planet, will someday be most acquainted with my greatest weaknesses and ugliest faults, but in spite of that, if she, as a result of being in my care, can acquire an understanding of His goodness and learn to swim in His grace, my deepest prayer will have been answered.
Today, I got put in a box. I was the helpless mom running out of Wal-mart with a flapping toddler in need of a nap and buckling her into the car with her Dad while I returned to speed shop for our weekly groceries. Oh the horror that a snapshot of that moment would do to the kind of box you want me to be in. The parent who doesn't discpline or spoils their child...obviously. Because any amount of discipline would have prevented that meltdown, right? The parent who doesn't know what they are doing...definitely. Because where were my solutions - the rabbit coming out of the hat? The parent that doesn't deserve the blessing of that beautiful, blue-eyed, precious baby girl...assuredly. Because aren't blessings things we earn? And it was a very public moment, so in a lot of strangers' minds, I entered this box of shame. And my cheeks are still a little pink from the experience of it all. One toddler meltdown has had me question just about every thing in my life. I'm in the box. On the other hand, I have all these Facebook friends that like to follow my videos and photos of the sweetest moments I collect with our little girl, the funny stories, the success story of her peeing in the potty more than in her diaper in the last week - hoorah! And with these chronic "like"ers, I fear I live inside this glamorous parent and family box. Like I have figured something out and have my stuff together. Or that our life is pretty much Brady Bunch or Leave it to Beaver, one big dance party (we do love dance parties!), simply a collection of highlight reels, pretty much Disney World around here. Somehow, my Instagram does not accurately express the struggle that is bedtime, petty arguments I start with my husband, and the enormous piles of laundry.
And then there are the articles we read on social media, or before it took over our lives, those little magazines we'd subscribe too. And its one person saying all Stay-At-Home-Moms are fulfilling God's calling because they fit inside a selfless, fulfills-all-needs-at-all-times-for-their-children box and the opposing view that Working Moms find God's favor by not only having passions and gifts outside the home but using them effectively and efficiently. Let's be real, y'all. None of us fit into either of those boxes. And it wouldn't matter where I spent the bulk of my days Monday - Friday. I am at war between flesh and spirit. In my best moments, I am dependent on the Holy Spirit for strength, wisdom, courage, and love and give with a pure, holy motive to each individual God carefully places in my life and path. In my worst moments, I am looking out for number one, carelessly crashing into those around me with impatience, impulse, insecurity, and selfishness. I value the places in my life that do not allow me (or force me) into either of these boxes. I am not a strong being who is insightful and brave and selflessly loves. God is. And sometimes I share in His character. Don't let me fool you; please do not let me sit on a pedastool on any day for any reason. I am also saved from being a self-focused, ignorant, reckless imbecile through the power and hope of Jesus Christ. So please don't let my Wal-Mart moment fool you; let me swim in the ocean of grace rather than box me up in my messiest moment. Don't you all want the same?
Basically, y'all, can we not just live with one another inside oceans of grace rather than isolated boxes of labels, judgments, and walls? I seriously have known people / had friends? who are completely cool with our friendship, our conversation, even our "Bible Study," until silly me opens up with too much vulnerability and receives the, "Oh REAAALLLLY?" response, implying I have reached the limitation of understanding and grace and disappointed them in some way. Yeah, not a safe place. Not an ocean of grace. Felt like I was swimming and then SLAM, box is shut. We need to do better for each other and for ourselves.
It's not just our kids, our jobs, our friends. And I'm not only a victim in this mess but also an oppressor. We do it to our hubsands, our pastors, our leaders, and the most vulnerable in our society. Box them in. Without any grace. It's easier for them to be "lazy," "self-righteous," "extremist," or "damaged goods." Too easy to decide ourselves the potential or capacity within an individual instead of laying it in the hands of an all-powerful, miraculous God. How often do we box people rather than pray people through this life? Do we really pray for each other?
The boxes are what we build around the people in our lives. And ourselves. When we are free to let ourselves out of the box we squeeze ourselves in, to not only not think to highly or too lowly of ourselves but instead gaze directly into the mirror of His face, we are able to free those around us from their boxes, as well. We don't need the boxes when we don't have ourselves confined to one. Because when you're swimming and floating and free in an ocean of eternity, you have no need to shrink others to fit in your control.
Another person can fail and succeed without becoming a failure or a god. Can't they? Only when we allow ourselves to fail and succeed without calling ourselves a failure or a god. I'm preaching this all to myself today, because I've pinpointed my very own, deep-down issue here and going for an afternoon Grace Ocean swim to share it with you all. On sweet baby girl's best day, for example, I fly high and feel that maybe I was meant to bring 1,000 babies into this world just to love with the limitless love I've been given. "I was created for this," yadadadada. On sweet baby girl's worst day, I get so low and feel that she's been cheated by being placed in my care. And oh this rollercoaster is riding us both. It's the same at work. When everything is coming together, excitement is building, and the team is strong, I feel full, satisfied, and at peace. And when things get rocky or threaten to fall apart, I begin to come up with all the people who should sit at my desk instead of me. These are the boxes I put myself in when I don't swim in the ocean of His grace. The grace days, those are the truest, the most real, the best. I am still not sure why I don't choose them each morning above the rest. But maybe you can help me. Maybe we can together. Choose this grace. For each other. And for ourselves. Because...
The boxes are what we build around the people in our lives. And ourselves. And ultimately, our God. God is in a box, He is limited, He is small when we do not believe Him fully and in big ways. When we do not ride the waves in His ocean and allow His grace to transform first our hearts and then our relationships and our world. We need a big God. My sweet baby girl much more than she needs a perfect Mommy needs a very Good God. I'm taking steps to help my heart reflect that. She, more than anyone on this planet, will someday be most acquainted with my greatest weaknesses and ugliest faults, but in spite of that, if she, as a result of being in my care, can acquire an understanding of His goodness and learn to swim in His grace, my deepest prayer will have been answered.
Comments
Post a Comment