Sometimes the way God operates is to ask for our obedience and trust before He rolls back the curtain and reveals His purposes or even the sources of His continued provision. Scratch that. MOST of the time, the way God operates is such. In my experience, almost always.
"Because I said so, Betsy," should be enough. I learned that at a young age from my parents. But my inquiring mind still wants to ask for the blueprint and all the details that will help me understand how this is for my greater good and God's greatest glory.
But here I am today with news to share and no blueprint to lay out across the table between us to show you the dimensions and square footage of the bigger picture. Just a story of His faithful, patient love and persistent, clear voice. The clarity of His voice is confirmed for me by the drastic dissonance with every one of the man-made plans my heart had been secretly constructing over the last few months or years. The human fraility of each of those plans was illuminated before me, and I knew what that meant - God has bigger plans. That once again, it really is true. They are BEYOND what I can imagine. They go FARTHER than my comprehension allows.
Back to the missing blueprint on the table between us...back to the fact that after a lot of prayer and even trying to run from what God was saying, we do in fact have some impending changes in our life. A few months ago, a leadership position on campus became available. It is one of two House Supervisors on campus that is also the Training Coordinator for all new and current employees. The most brain power I gave the information of the opening was a "hmmm, we will miss her," and I moved on with my day. At the same time, Michael and I were actually discussing our need for confirmation and possibly a season of prayer regarding our man-made plan for our future. The most common question as we entered this season and mission a year and a half ago was whether this was a short term mission for us or a lifelong change. Our response was always the same, "We don't know. We are just following in obedience now and God will make our paths straight." I knew there were couples who had their own families while houseparenting, and who did it for decades. And I knew there were some who did not. So from the beginning, we have analyzed whether or not we would be willing or able to start our family (whatever that will look like - many of you know we would like to adopt and possibly have our own children someday) while houseparenting. What we discovered is that it is a very personal decision as there are MANY who do it and do it well; however, we came to the conclusion slowly that though it is very feasible to parent your own children while houseparenting, we do not want to initiate that season with all of the "firsts" during this season. Thus, we had man-made plans for our future that we were keeping tucked away silently. We LOVE what we do (even on the days we hate it), but our weak human selves were looking for security since we knew it wasn't a forever thing. We weren't looking for a way out any time soon and have not even boarded the family-buiding train yet, but if you know us, you know, we are always thinking. Our life dream would be to create something really special like Vera Lloyd as ministry for children in a place where there is not anything like it. Our plan was to go back to school for MSW's (Master of Social Work) that can lisence you for therapy, case management, non-profit administration, in addition to literally thousands of other things. My interest was in a therapy lisence which I have always toyed with as an idea, and I felt like it was a career I could achieve while still being a Mom someday. Michael was drawn to the other aspects of the degree and the great possibilities it holds especially for men today. Without backtracking in his education, he would have many more qualifications than "teacher," and would be a stable and good provider.
I promise I am getting to the point.
Well, in the middle of us waiting for confirmation from the Lord to our man-made plan (to go into effect August 2013)...see a problem here, waiting for God's stamp of approval on our proposed plan including dates of what's next for our impatient selves...in the middle of THAT, someone from the Vera Lloyd leadership team asked me about applying for the open position. I slammed the door shut without a blink, a glance, or a second thought. I was flattered, but I had 1,000 reasons to slam the door and I also had my great man-made secret plan I was nursing and pretty excited about. There was a great program in Little Rock and they have the great loft apartments downtown by the river and... you get the picture. It took a few more interventions of the Divine for me to glance and give it a second thought only to slam the door shut again for all new reasons. I went through this process several times but it kept returning to me like a boomerang. Michael was much more willing than I to entertain the possibility or the thought, but he wasn't pushing it either. Then, I ended up out of town on business in a broken down car for two hours in front of a crack house with no road side assistance with a supervisor. We sat in the car for two hours. Waiting. In addition to the rest of the God-ordained day where the Lord weaved the tapestry of our stories and His throughout our conversations and circumstances. Small rays of light began to shine through what I percieved as stormclouds to show me that I just might have been slamming the door in God's face this whole time. I had committed a long while before that I would pray about it but in all actuality I had only thought about it long and hard. So this time I prayed. And I talked to Michael, and he prayed. And soon we came to the decision that I would apply (though it was 3 weeks late for internal applicants) and leave the results up to God. As soon as I took that step, God began showing me huge aspects of the opportunity that were right up my ally. He began to turn my heart toward it in ways I cannot explain. I began to realize how much I had grown to care about the organization I work for and how much impact I could have by equipping others. I began to realize I would be getting to do similiar work but be able to utilize a lot of my administration and leadership gifts that I miss using as a houseparent. So, I interviewed amidst dozens of others because by that time, the position had been open to the public. And, I waited. And then, I was offered the job. At first we thought some restructuring might be happening where there might be two jobs available; however, Vera Lloyd is 6 months away from some major accrediation that will open many doors for us as an organization and multiple new higher level positions. Though there are some things Michael can do on campus, he is choosing to pursue the MSW as previously planned which will mean he will be very qualified for many of the new positions Vera Lloyd will have in the future.
Why the change? Why leaving Barton right now? What does all of THIS lead to? We aren't sure. We don't know. We have some ideas, but we know it is in God's hands and ultimately that we can rest because so are we. We know that taking this step for both of us will only place both of us in a position where we can embrace God's greatest potential to use us for His greatest glory, and that is what we want the most in this world afterall.
"Because I said so, Betsy and Michael...follow Me."
"Because I said so, Betsy," should be enough. I learned that at a young age from my parents. But my inquiring mind still wants to ask for the blueprint and all the details that will help me understand how this is for my greater good and God's greatest glory.
But here I am today with news to share and no blueprint to lay out across the table between us to show you the dimensions and square footage of the bigger picture. Just a story of His faithful, patient love and persistent, clear voice. The clarity of His voice is confirmed for me by the drastic dissonance with every one of the man-made plans my heart had been secretly constructing over the last few months or years. The human fraility of each of those plans was illuminated before me, and I knew what that meant - God has bigger plans. That once again, it really is true. They are BEYOND what I can imagine. They go FARTHER than my comprehension allows.
Back to the missing blueprint on the table between us...back to the fact that after a lot of prayer and even trying to run from what God was saying, we do in fact have some impending changes in our life. A few months ago, a leadership position on campus became available. It is one of two House Supervisors on campus that is also the Training Coordinator for all new and current employees. The most brain power I gave the information of the opening was a "hmmm, we will miss her," and I moved on with my day. At the same time, Michael and I were actually discussing our need for confirmation and possibly a season of prayer regarding our man-made plan for our future. The most common question as we entered this season and mission a year and a half ago was whether this was a short term mission for us or a lifelong change. Our response was always the same, "We don't know. We are just following in obedience now and God will make our paths straight." I knew there were couples who had their own families while houseparenting, and who did it for decades. And I knew there were some who did not. So from the beginning, we have analyzed whether or not we would be willing or able to start our family (whatever that will look like - many of you know we would like to adopt and possibly have our own children someday) while houseparenting. What we discovered is that it is a very personal decision as there are MANY who do it and do it well; however, we came to the conclusion slowly that though it is very feasible to parent your own children while houseparenting, we do not want to initiate that season with all of the "firsts" during this season. Thus, we had man-made plans for our future that we were keeping tucked away silently. We LOVE what we do (even on the days we hate it), but our weak human selves were looking for security since we knew it wasn't a forever thing. We weren't looking for a way out any time soon and have not even boarded the family-buiding train yet, but if you know us, you know, we are always thinking. Our life dream would be to create something really special like Vera Lloyd as ministry for children in a place where there is not anything like it. Our plan was to go back to school for MSW's (Master of Social Work) that can lisence you for therapy, case management, non-profit administration, in addition to literally thousands of other things. My interest was in a therapy lisence which I have always toyed with as an idea, and I felt like it was a career I could achieve while still being a Mom someday. Michael was drawn to the other aspects of the degree and the great possibilities it holds especially for men today. Without backtracking in his education, he would have many more qualifications than "teacher," and would be a stable and good provider.
I promise I am getting to the point.
Well, in the middle of us waiting for confirmation from the Lord to our man-made plan (to go into effect August 2013)...see a problem here, waiting for God's stamp of approval on our proposed plan including dates of what's next for our impatient selves...in the middle of THAT, someone from the Vera Lloyd leadership team asked me about applying for the open position. I slammed the door shut without a blink, a glance, or a second thought. I was flattered, but I had 1,000 reasons to slam the door and I also had my great man-made secret plan I was nursing and pretty excited about. There was a great program in Little Rock and they have the great loft apartments downtown by the river and... you get the picture. It took a few more interventions of the Divine for me to glance and give it a second thought only to slam the door shut again for all new reasons. I went through this process several times but it kept returning to me like a boomerang. Michael was much more willing than I to entertain the possibility or the thought, but he wasn't pushing it either. Then, I ended up out of town on business in a broken down car for two hours in front of a crack house with no road side assistance with a supervisor. We sat in the car for two hours. Waiting. In addition to the rest of the God-ordained day where the Lord weaved the tapestry of our stories and His throughout our conversations and circumstances. Small rays of light began to shine through what I percieved as stormclouds to show me that I just might have been slamming the door in God's face this whole time. I had committed a long while before that I would pray about it but in all actuality I had only thought about it long and hard. So this time I prayed. And I talked to Michael, and he prayed. And soon we came to the decision that I would apply (though it was 3 weeks late for internal applicants) and leave the results up to God. As soon as I took that step, God began showing me huge aspects of the opportunity that were right up my ally. He began to turn my heart toward it in ways I cannot explain. I began to realize how much I had grown to care about the organization I work for and how much impact I could have by equipping others. I began to realize I would be getting to do similiar work but be able to utilize a lot of my administration and leadership gifts that I miss using as a houseparent. So, I interviewed amidst dozens of others because by that time, the position had been open to the public. And, I waited. And then, I was offered the job. At first we thought some restructuring might be happening where there might be two jobs available; however, Vera Lloyd is 6 months away from some major accrediation that will open many doors for us as an organization and multiple new higher level positions. Though there are some things Michael can do on campus, he is choosing to pursue the MSW as previously planned which will mean he will be very qualified for many of the new positions Vera Lloyd will have in the future.
Why the change? Why leaving Barton right now? What does all of THIS lead to? We aren't sure. We don't know. We have some ideas, but we know it is in God's hands and ultimately that we can rest because so are we. We know that taking this step for both of us will only place both of us in a position where we can embrace God's greatest potential to use us for His greatest glory, and that is what we want the most in this world afterall.
"Because I said so, Betsy and Michael...follow Me."
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