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amidst the rubble

My faith has been grounded since childhood in the knowledge that when it feels my world is crumbling around me, God will pick me up.  This simple truth was, perhaps, the first pillar of faith constructed in my faith journey.  As my family moved away from our relatives and then our friends, there were moments even a 10-year-old felt like the world was crumbling around her.  Yet, God's faithfulness always prevailed, and not in a "I know God is still good" kind of way.  God always showed Himself clearly and inexplicably to me when I was ready to look and see Him on the other side of the crumbling mess.  As a hurting and depressed middle schooler, there were moments I was sure the world had already caved in.  Yet, God never left my side, and He proved His presence in remarkable ways.  I am so thankful.

Today, as I find myself in a lifestyle and structure that lives amidst the rubble of the crumbling and caving in of many lives, I am daily in need of His strong hand picking me up.  And it never fails, even when my pillar of faith does.  Even when I think the day is over and that I am about to lay my head on the pillow with only a few strands of hope or motivation left, He has picked me up.  He has encouraged me exactly how I needed to be.  He has whispered to me in the quietness of my own despair.  He alone knew in the pain or frustration what my greatest need was, and swept in to meet it.  Oftentimes, the sweeping in is at the last second, and I am sure that is purposeful.  I know it is.  Because it is when I am standing there waiting...those moments of my greatest need...those moments of my complete and utter emptiness on my own...are the exact moments I am ready to see and hear and know what He has been wanting to show me for some time.

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