I've started this post a few times now, and I am either not ready to write it or I really just do not know what to say. It has been awhile since I blogged, as Michael and I worked our first "super shift" last week, which is a weekend shift (Thursday night - Sunday night) combined with our normal weekly shift (Sunday night - Friday afternoon). This week was definitely our most difficult week of ministry here, by which I do not mean to be negative, only honest. Several extreme behaviors in our girls were triggered this week with the onset of the school year and the change and anxiety that comes with that. We started our shift on the weekend, and I think we questioned on Sunday how we would ever make it to Friday after the weekend we had had. I think despite the despair in that statement, that was a very good place for us to come to; though, it is still a place we are coming out of despite our weekend off we just had. But today, rather than the details of the difficult or even day-to-day occurances at the Barton home, I would be criminal not to share the miracles we witnessed this week...and the everpresent help in trouble that we were provided by the Lord. I must give Him praise.
Miracle 1. On Sunday night, we were at the end of our rope with one of our girls. She was angry, hateful, disobedient, disrespectful, and bringing down all of the other girls with her. After a particularly difficult and painful conversation with her in the car, I sent out an S.O.S. text for prayer...with no details...but just to pray. After the appointment was finished we'd been traveling to, we got home and I seized an opportunity to just express my concern and my care for her despite the situation, expecting nothing at all. Within minutes, she was broken...in tears...talking about her desire to connect with God...her desire to let go of the anger...her inability to do it on her own. Her own hopelessness. For someone who was not a fly on our wall that day, that situation sounds normal; it sounds even like a "miracle" I witnessed in youth ministry on at least a weekly basis. Please hear me when I say this was NOTHING short of a full-blown answer to prayer, a miraculous work of God. We were not even HEADING to a good place when that conversation started. Like I said, I had been at the end of my rope. But God was good. And He did what only He can do. And I thank Him for that reminder through that experience. We aren't at a perfect place now, and this particular girl continues to struggle with the same things, but we've moved forward, and we've made progress. Praise Him.
Miracle 2. There are few details I feel that I can share; however, God made a way out of no way. And it had nothing to do with the girls or Barton or even Vera Lloyd. Essentially, out of a somewhat worrisome situation with our house not selling, our car on the fritz, and feeling a million miles from home...it was MIRACULOUSLY made possible for us to get a replacement car that will be extremely reliable (which was our only concern) without selling the house. Soon after this miracle, we were approached about renting our house to some people who would use it as a house of ministry as we aimed to while we were there. What a BLESSING that allows us to BLESS others. All the details are not finalized in all of these matters, but the point is that God makes ways when there seem to be no ways, especially when we choose to remain faithful despite the obstacle. We could have done it our human way and fixed the car situation with a little car note and a lot of impatience, but we knew that was not what God wanted us to do and it would have left little room for God to show us what HE alone was capable of. ALL of this came about during the difficult days I spoke about above. ALL of it. What an encouragement. It was like in the middle of the desert, God wrapped His arms around us and promised He had been holding us and would continue to hold us as long as we'd trust Him. All I can say is I'm trusting. Thank God.
I'm not sure what else I have to say today, which I know is odd, and I am sorry I don't have more details and stories. But I will. I thank you for your prayers and support even during this time. All I can say is that "Praise the Lord for bringing us to Monticello!"...even though, I still haven't found my new best friends yet...even though, I didn't think I would even SURVIVE let alone make a difference this last week...even though, I have no idea where this road is leading..."Praise the Lord!" for what I do know is that it is abundantly clear that this is exactly where we are supposed to be and that there is no way we could be absorbing as much from life as we are had we not come. So in the words of a much wiser and holier man than I, "It is well with my soul."
Prayer Pleas(e):
-Each of our girls at school this week
-The two girls who discharged this week in their new placements
-Any new girls on their way to the Barton home this week
-Finding a church home: we have begun visiting again
-Encouragement for the Soul & Stamina
Miracle 1. On Sunday night, we were at the end of our rope with one of our girls. She was angry, hateful, disobedient, disrespectful, and bringing down all of the other girls with her. After a particularly difficult and painful conversation with her in the car, I sent out an S.O.S. text for prayer...with no details...but just to pray. After the appointment was finished we'd been traveling to, we got home and I seized an opportunity to just express my concern and my care for her despite the situation, expecting nothing at all. Within minutes, she was broken...in tears...talking about her desire to connect with God...her desire to let go of the anger...her inability to do it on her own. Her own hopelessness. For someone who was not a fly on our wall that day, that situation sounds normal; it sounds even like a "miracle" I witnessed in youth ministry on at least a weekly basis. Please hear me when I say this was NOTHING short of a full-blown answer to prayer, a miraculous work of God. We were not even HEADING to a good place when that conversation started. Like I said, I had been at the end of my rope. But God was good. And He did what only He can do. And I thank Him for that reminder through that experience. We aren't at a perfect place now, and this particular girl continues to struggle with the same things, but we've moved forward, and we've made progress. Praise Him.
Miracle 2. There are few details I feel that I can share; however, God made a way out of no way. And it had nothing to do with the girls or Barton or even Vera Lloyd. Essentially, out of a somewhat worrisome situation with our house not selling, our car on the fritz, and feeling a million miles from home...it was MIRACULOUSLY made possible for us to get a replacement car that will be extremely reliable (which was our only concern) without selling the house. Soon after this miracle, we were approached about renting our house to some people who would use it as a house of ministry as we aimed to while we were there. What a BLESSING that allows us to BLESS others. All the details are not finalized in all of these matters, but the point is that God makes ways when there seem to be no ways, especially when we choose to remain faithful despite the obstacle. We could have done it our human way and fixed the car situation with a little car note and a lot of impatience, but we knew that was not what God wanted us to do and it would have left little room for God to show us what HE alone was capable of. ALL of this came about during the difficult days I spoke about above. ALL of it. What an encouragement. It was like in the middle of the desert, God wrapped His arms around us and promised He had been holding us and would continue to hold us as long as we'd trust Him. All I can say is I'm trusting. Thank God.
I'm not sure what else I have to say today, which I know is odd, and I am sorry I don't have more details and stories. But I will. I thank you for your prayers and support even during this time. All I can say is that "Praise the Lord for bringing us to Monticello!"...even though, I still haven't found my new best friends yet...even though, I didn't think I would even SURVIVE let alone make a difference this last week...even though, I have no idea where this road is leading..."Praise the Lord!" for what I do know is that it is abundantly clear that this is exactly where we are supposed to be and that there is no way we could be absorbing as much from life as we are had we not come. So in the words of a much wiser and holier man than I, "It is well with my soul."
Prayer Pleas(e):
-Each of our girls at school this week
-The two girls who discharged this week in their new placements
-Any new girls on their way to the Barton home this week
-Finding a church home: we have begun visiting again
-Encouragement for the Soul & Stamina
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