Skip to main content

the conflict of emotion

Yesterday marked my final two weeks as a staff member at First Covenant Church, and the emotions that have been coming in waves, have begun World War III inside of me.

I am (still) excited, assured, and looking forward to the adventure Michael and I will leave on in a little over a month at Vera Lloyd in Arkansas.  I know God has plans for us there that I cannot begin to imagine, and I know despite the hardship that will come with the transition and daily life of 24/7 ministry, He will be faithful to be our strength, our joy, and our hope.  And, I know, beyond the shadows, that our decisions have been built on the rock of our salvation and that they are good.

Yet, today, I'm staring at the screen, trying to draft the final words I will share with the First Covenant Youth Ministry in my last two Sunday Morning talks, and emotions from left field, right field, and center are flooding my heart as well as my clouded eyes.  I emptied the drawers in my desk yesterday, and an entire new level  of reality hit me that this office will soon be just as empty.  The life I have had here has been so full, and despite the fact that God promises me the same abundant life around the next bend, I am compelled to stop to appreciate this season fully.   

And on days like today, if I so much as slow down or take a moment to reflect, sadness surrounds me.  The sadness of leaving my dear friends who make up the FCC church staff.  The sadness of leaving the students that comprise the youth group.  The sadness of extending hundreds of miles once again between my family and me.  I have much to be excited about.  And happy for.  And hopeful in.  But today, I must take a moment and be sad.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Twenty Ways to Love a Foster Family Well

The tears slid down my cheek as I typed out the email just a few short weeks ago that would officially close our home and end our season as foster parents.  We may have another season before we hit the nursing home, but after a lot of prayer and confirmation....we know this season right now? It is about the family God has formed inside our home.  We will be focusing on meeting the needs of each of the amazing forever children we have the privilege of parenting. We will also do all we can to provide intentional support to those fostering around us.  ( Hint: If you are local and maybe "not having enough support and/or respite" has kept you from fostering, holla at ya girl! ) I wanted to mark this moment in some way, which is why I am here.  I want to share with YOU all of the amazing ways people - our family, our friends, our community, our church, our village...so many of you - made this season possible for us. I want to highlight all the ways God showed up for us in ...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Destination

Michael and I are very excited to share that we have accepted a job together as Family Teachers at Vera Lloyd Presbyterian Home and Family Services in Monticello, Arkansas!  You can visit Vera Lloyd's website here and get a tiny glimpse of the awesome ministry that exists on its campus.  We were able to visit the campus last Thursday and Friday and have been spending time in prayer individually and as a couple until last night when we came to the place where we both knew this truly is where God has been leading us the whole time.  There are so many questions to answer, so I thought I would format this post in a question/answer format.  Feel free to leave any unanswered questions as a comment!  And as always, take or leave the details! Q: Where is Monticello and how big is the town? A: Monticello is 1.5 hours South of Little Rock and 1.5 hours North of Louisiana.  It is a small college town (University of Arkansas @Monticello) of about 10,000 people situ...
3 comments
Read more

Naked in Eden

To any who choose to read, I plead, please hold my heart so carefully in your hands, because the walls are thin and fragile today. I’m writing to you from Eden, you know…the place where God meets us face to face, where we are naked and unashamed?  The place we are stripped of everything this world has to offer and it is just me and God in the perfectly breezy and comfortable afternoon air.  But just as Eve would have had it, you haven’t found me walking quietly in the afternoon, hand-in-hand with God.  I’m over here hiding because I’m naked and exposed. Stripped of the identities and roles I’ve worn and back to just being His, I feel completely undone.  I took a group of youth several years ago to a conference and the week-long theme was Undone.  I didn’t get it then, but now I do.  David Crowder has always had that song, too: I’m-coming-un-done!  And I sang right through that verse.  But now I am. I am the one coming undone.  ...
1 comment
Read more