I'm not sure if you will understand. Most of you will probably shake your head. I'm not sure if there any of you out there like me. But in case there are, I will share these recent ramblings. I believe they do reveal the backwards-freakish nature of myself so if you have never felt the struggle or this particular tension, have no worry. I've always liked a challenge. I remember as a high school student asking the Vacation Bible School Director at our church to switch the group of youngsters I was leading with another because my group was not challenging enough; the children were "too good" for my taste. See? Freak point numero uno. I remember actually getting excited when I had the super-clingy, attention-needy, nerve-wracking behavior-filled little boy from the group home moved into my group. *Teachers all over the globe flinch in disbelief.* I know, I know...what?!?!? But this was me - "Finally. My whole group is no longer hanging from my e