We live in a digital age. Microsoft has spoiled us - when we can not backspace or "undo" mistakes, incredulality and frustration occur on all levels. We are accustomed to cutting and pasting: taking one item in its fullness and directly translating it in its exactness and precision to another location. And it is a rather faultless function. What I "cut" out is exactly what is "pasted" into its new location. It's simple. It's clean. It works.
And I can't help but wonder if this simple philosophy of word processing has seeped into our philosophies and policies of life. But oh how dangerous. How dangerous it is to think that a human being can be cut out of one environment cleanly, easily, and swiftly and translated into a new environment in a perfect, faultless order. No; people cannot simply be cut and pasted. Well, we cut and paste them all the time. The average child in foster care has been in three different placements outside of their own home (2010) and some have been in 30-40! And it has become our natural instinct in this digital age to expect Microsoft efficiency, perfect transiency. We expect that a child can be "cut" from one environment and be "pasted" into another without alteration. No person can be translated from one place to another without changing in some way at their core. Every cut changes us. Every paste moves our soul. The change might be good, the alterations might be in a positive direction, but the impact must be recognized that a great change has happened. And no matter how improved the situation might be...no matter what kind of relief may accompany it...no matter what kind of necessity demanded it...there is an impact on the heart. And there is care that is needed for the soul.
I've wondered in the past with some of our girls why we have had adjustment issues, why we have seen new or outrageous behaviors from them in the beginning...when they were just taken out of such ridiculously hideous situations. I've wondered why with their apparent relief also comes an equal reluctance. I've found myself applying the philosophies of technology to these little healing hearts. And so I've challenged myself to remember that even good change has an impact and can be hard to accept at first. That these kids, even if they end up back in the same situation in a few weeks (God forbid), will never again be the same. Life has changed. They have changed. And that is the beauty and curse of humanity. We truly are mosaics of our experience. Every experience touches us, every moment changes us, and we will never be pasted cleanly like a phrase in Microsoft Word.
And I can't help but wonder if this simple philosophy of word processing has seeped into our philosophies and policies of life. But oh how dangerous. How dangerous it is to think that a human being can be cut out of one environment cleanly, easily, and swiftly and translated into a new environment in a perfect, faultless order. No; people cannot simply be cut and pasted. Well, we cut and paste them all the time. The average child in foster care has been in three different placements outside of their own home (2010) and some have been in 30-40! And it has become our natural instinct in this digital age to expect Microsoft efficiency, perfect transiency. We expect that a child can be "cut" from one environment and be "pasted" into another without alteration. No person can be translated from one place to another without changing in some way at their core. Every cut changes us. Every paste moves our soul. The change might be good, the alterations might be in a positive direction, but the impact must be recognized that a great change has happened. And no matter how improved the situation might be...no matter what kind of relief may accompany it...no matter what kind of necessity demanded it...there is an impact on the heart. And there is care that is needed for the soul.
I've wondered in the past with some of our girls why we have had adjustment issues, why we have seen new or outrageous behaviors from them in the beginning...when they were just taken out of such ridiculously hideous situations. I've wondered why with their apparent relief also comes an equal reluctance. I've found myself applying the philosophies of technology to these little healing hearts. And so I've challenged myself to remember that even good change has an impact and can be hard to accept at first. That these kids, even if they end up back in the same situation in a few weeks (God forbid), will never again be the same. Life has changed. They have changed. And that is the beauty and curse of humanity. We truly are mosaics of our experience. Every experience touches us, every moment changes us, and we will never be pasted cleanly like a phrase in Microsoft Word.
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