A Beautiful Mosaic

Maybe because the anniversary of   “the big change”…             when I slowed my own rhythms down…             when the rhythm of our family slowed down…             when we began a dance to a simpler, slower, but just as meaningful melody… Maybe because the anniversary of that time is slowly approaching or maybe because, since that time I’ve tried to rev up and hit “accelerate” again only to have found myself intrinsically changed and unable to “rev” as I used to… Or maybe because as we approached this small-ish, one-room, home-reno project this spring break, we approached it as different people and in a different way and I’m only realizing it at the end of spring break with only one of three phases complete? Or maybe it’s been the freedom-seeking with the ladies on those Thursday evenings slowing all the way down and breathing in His presence together … Whatever the reason, the rhythm of my life has been beating loudly through my days the last few weeks.  

There’s been a failure narrative running in the background of my life for a long time now; it is one that I have allowed, fed, and unknowingly fallen prey to time and again.   There was this time in 7 th grade at a new school one hundred times bigger than my last, where I tripped over my insanely dorky shoes and fell on my face immediately upon entrance to the stadium-sized lunch room.  Talk about an audience...and entrance.  And yes, if you know me, I suppose I have made a habit of tripping at inopportune times; I believe my lack of coordination also clearly defines my life.  Needless to say, falling on my face in front of crowds is not fun.  Not only is not fun, it has become something I seriously avoid.  Even if it means I hesitate a little too long before stepping or I run in the other direction.  But what I am starting to learn is that not every failure is worn on your face … because I am just not as powerful or in control as I imagine myself to be, as much as I want to be

"For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry , in keeping with the word of the Lord spoken by Elijah." 1 Kings 17:16 Today is a day of new beginnings and also endings, and I'm swimming in the emotion of it all.  This sweet summer, my favorite one probably ever, has officially come to an end and with it, a new layer for me of settling into a new life.  During summer, we are all just passers-by - here today, gone tomorrow. But now, the return of normal for all is swarming around me as I adjust again to my new normal. Sending our baby off to preschool.  Sending my best friend off to teach Geometry, Pre-Calc, and a new football season. And we used to do it all just in the blur.  Last summer, it was me who had never stopped for summer...it was me inviting them back to normal along with me.  Back to the races. Not this year. The rain is falling outside the window, and the quiet is loud, and I am grateful as I reflect on the story of our summer, I

" I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be courageous and let your heart be strong.   Wait for the Lord .” –Psalm 27:13-14 I hadn't noticed until now that brave and strong is part of waiting. Because running and explaining and indulging and figuring out is so much a part of our world. I forgot that wait is a verb, not a space-filler, not a time-waster. In the waiting, we are learning our hope.   In the waiting, we become His; we come alive. In the waiting, we build the pages upon which He will write the story. In the waiting, the story has already begun.   Right now, my waiting is the story.   How silly for me to think that brave and strong was only for empire-building and battle-fighting. I’ve been having strong moments and really weak ones.   Because even though I’ve set up my circumstances for rest and family and connection right now, wherever I go, I can still find the drugs of efficien

To all the Graduates this Year: It is my ten year college graduation reunion this year, and it's been ten years of running without stopping. Until now.  I'm learning a different way.  My hope is that you can take my lessons with you into your first season in the real world rather than learn the hard way. Fill your life with the abundance of Christ and work from the overflow.  It's really the only way.  I've done some of the currently recognized "noble pursuits" of today's Christian culture, each so needed and important, but the world applauds performance and our Christian communities uphold martyrdom and a loss of healthy balance as signs of sainthood, so if you're like me, you're already set up to crash.  Don't. Cling to the abundant life. And bring your whole self not to the world but to Jesus. When He said to lose your life to find it, He didn't mean you should lose your connection to Him.  He didn't mean you lose your self, th